That Thing You Like

Internet censorship is akin to sugarless cookies

I just read Paul Miller’s interesting piece on the “anti-internet” rally that took place in New York, recently. Some nice Orthodox Jews filled a stadium and had a day-long “discussion” about the Internet, its filth, and how it can be controlled.

I’m not here to write a deep and insightful piece trying to prove a point or state my views. I’d like to be concise, with a simple example.

We don’t need to censor or regulate the Internet.

People, understandably, are ~~obsessed~~ very concerned with what children see and are exposed to, these days. Indeed, it’s a very real danger that your 2-, 7-, or 14-year-old might happen upon some unsavoury pictures or videos of some unsavoury people doing unsavoury things. But that’s not the Internet’s fault.

That’s your fault. You are a bad parent. Do you want me to explain this in a very easy-to-understand metaphor?

Let’s take cookies. Your child loves cookies. He’ll take any opportunity to stuff his gob with some of Nabisco’s finest sugary treats.

Now, a good parent just makes sure he controls his kids access to the cookies.

A bad parent, though? To them it’s a case of “God damn, why the hell won’t Nabisco just put less sugar in its biscuits? They are tempting our children and corrupting their dietary compasses. Ban Nabisco. Ban cookies. Salads and fishfingers for our young ones! Will somebody please think about the kids?”

Please think about the kids.

The kids. Of bad parents. Who don’t want to adapt to the modern world and new responsibilities that come with raising our children.

You know, back in the day - and I mean WAY back - we had to protect our children from running into the roads to avoid those newfangled horseless carriages. Before that it was trains. Before trains and cars we had diseases and wild animals. Part of being a parent involves taking care of your children and making sure that they eat healthily, get exposed to good content, and grow up to be normal, level-headed humans.

Bad things have been around all the time. Each generation has to deal with a new set of problems that is not appropriate for the children of that era to be exposed to. Have we become so lazy that it’s easier to moan about these things that make parenting more difficult? Are we going to rely on our whinging to solve the problem?

Just like Nabisco’s products don’t need less sugar, the Internet doesn’t need to be regulated.

#internet

#censorship

#the internet doesn't need censorship

#the verge

#paul miller

#judaism

#orthodox jews

#the internet

#nabisco

#please think about the kids

#cookies

1 week ago

<Zeromancy> i am going on a quest to find the most boring porn in the world
<Zeromancy> and i will make a website about it
<Zeromancy> "pointlessporn.org"
<gastropotohontas> I can help
<gastropotohontas> http://www.fishfoodblender.com/izone/calm.jpg
<Zeromancy> yes greetings hello oh please don't mind the penis in my anus
<Zeromancy> please have a seat. tea?
<gastropotohontas> SIGH
<gastropotohontas> again?!
<Zeromancy> yes it's a hard cock life

1 week ago

POLITICS A+

zeromancy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tMluz0R1LU#t=0m53s
hellospaceman: james
hellospaceman: if i was your pony
hellospaceman: would you play this song while riding me?
zeromancy: it is mandatory that this song be played any time i'm not wearing a shirt
zeromancy: so yes.
hellospaceman: what kind of monster rides a pony while wearing a shirt
zeromancy: liberals.
hellospaceman: liberal ponies are unicorns
zeromancy: because they're horny
hellospaceman: no because they live in a fantasy land!
zeromancy: everyone knows conservatives don't have sex
zeromancy: WOOP WOOP WOOP
zeromancy: you basically just won at politics

#politics

#lol

10 months ago

i think i was a dinosaur: your computer is not scary →

trizerotops:

i just read an alienware ad that says, and i am quoting here, “Take command immediately with Alienware’s all-new, anodized aluminum case design that includes motorized vents for managing your thermals and intimidating the competition.”

ignoring the absolute retardation of the idea of putting…

10 months ago

bane of your existence

<AccelR8> funny no one knew who Tom Hardy was when we were working on inception
<AccelR8> we were shooting in the mountains, and the DP said go in tight on Tom Hardy, and the camera guy was like "whos tom hardy"
<AccelR8> and the DP yelled HES A FUCKING MOVIE STAR

#he's

#movie

#star

11 months ago

oh no no no no no no no no

<&KosherSalami> Rapper Flo Rida was arrested Thursday on suspicion of drunken driving, police said.
<&KosherSalami>
<&KosherSalami> Miami Beach police said officers spotted the South Florida artist, whose real name is Tramar Dillard, driving his 2008 Bugatti erratically in the early morning hours.
<&KosherSalami> does this mean we get to be spared some shitty rap for a few months?
<&KosherSalami> also why is he driving a 3 year old Bugatti, i thought rappers always had to have the latest MY
<@hello_spaceman> shawty had them apple sours shots
<@hello_spaceman> tequila with the lime
<@hello_spaceman> had the bartender bring out the best wine
<@hello_spaceman> he hit the floor
<@hello_spaceman> next thing you know
<@el_bombastico> NO STOP IT
<@hello_spaceman> shawty got pulled over by the po po po po po po po po
<@el_bombastico> NO MORE SHITTY LYRICS
<@hello_spaceman> fuck you my po po joke was awesome
<@el_bombastico> ok the last line was funny
<@hello_spaceman> thank you

#shawty

#got

#arrested

11 months ago

comedy gold

<gastropoda> holy shit
<gastropoda> http://www.pcworld.com/article/228632/new_sony_hack_nabs_user_data_of_2000_customers.html
<gastropoda> SONY.
<hello_spaceman> they should just change their name to SORY
<&IceOrb> spaceman
<&IceOrb> that joke was a little too good
<&IceOrb> like I enjoyed the hell out of it
<&IceOrb> had a really good out loud laugh